Sexual intimacy vs Intellectual intimacy: Which bond is stronger?
Intimacy in relationship as succinctly said by a wise man is a state where both parties can be ‘vulnerable with each other & not feel ashamed’ or fear that the other party will feel repelled or repulsed by what they see in you. It’s a state of ‘baring all the scars’, knowing that the other person would not inflict a fresh wound on the healing/healed scar (because the scars are safe with him/her).
Over time, many people associate intimacy strictly with sex. While intimacy & sex goes hand-in-hand, it is instructive to note that there are other expressions of intimacy beyond sex in a relationship.
Intimacy comes in different shapes & forms. They are:
- Physical Intimacy
- Emotional Intimacy
- Intellectual Intimacy
- Recreational Intimacy
- Financial Intimacy
- Unconditional Intimacy
We would be delving into Intellectual Intimacy and how it can be maximized for the success of a loving relationship.
How can we nurture intellectual intimacy in relationships?
Higher intellectual connection often means happier couples in a loving relationship. Below are some ways to foster intellectual intimacy in relationships:
Share similar interests and attitude
Building a relationship where you both have shared interests becomes one of the sources of sparks & fireworks in your relationship. When you have similar views on important topics, it keeps you in complete synch with each other. It will seem like you guys are constantly in a synchronized dance with beats only heard by both of you alone. It is you guys against the world.
Reading books together further solidifies your bond. It is as though you are both romancing your minds- a form of its own foreplay.
It gives you more talking points, and also allows you to see how the other person interprets same piece of literature, yet in their own uniquely different way.
Also books help enrich minds and strengthen vocabulary (if that also rocks your boat). So pick out your genre of books (each of your individual choice of genres) and schedule to rotate who’s preferred choice of book/literature will be read when and vice-versa.
Ensure you have fun and watch movies that allow you both engage (not one-sided while the other person zones out).
Check out this movie genres
- Funny rom-com.
Come in terms with each other’s values
- What are your religious proclivities?
- What do you stand for?
- When the chips are down, what value(s) do you stand for or uphold?
When under pressure, what stand do you take on certain issues? What is your relationship with money? What is you stand on: equity, discipline, empathy, care of the less privileged etc.
Its okay to disagree on some issues (after all, we are attracted to our opposites). Yet if you share the same value(s) on real things that matter, your intellectual intimacy increases.
Talking about past experiences
Again, this alludes to the wise man’s saying of being ‘vulnerable & not ashamed’.
Talk about your past experiences. If you have had an abusive/ hurtful/emotionally handicapped past, talking and being open about it will help you and your partner to further heighten your bond.
Sexual intimacy is powerful; yet intellectual intimacy is a necessity for the long hurl in a happy loving & nurturing relationship.